if anyone out there can educate me on what i could have done better for her in the future, please let me know!
i sat with a trans woman this afternoon who had just been beaten by her husband. as i walked to meet friends at a rooftop restaurant on a gorgeous DC day, i saw her crying quietly in front of a boarded up business, bleeding from her forehead and eyelids. i acknowledged her crying and tried to see if she was open to sharing her pain with someone. i then walked over and knelt in front of her & touched her leg. i asked how she was doing and she just covered her face. she was disheveled and holding random clothes which i imagine is all she was given time to collect.
it was hard to decipher everything she was saying through her tears and accent. what i gathered was that she’d been w her husband for 10 years and that he beats her. she had a deep scar on her face from lip to cheek bone and other visible scars on her face from prior beatings. she said he called her a bitch and kicked her out of the house. she said other than him, she had no one. all of her family is in guatemala.
as we talked, it was clear that she could never receive the sympathy a “beautiful” woman would were she assaulted. she was born male and clearly couldn’t afford the surgery, counseling and prescriptions necessary to make the transition. as such, though she had clearly lived quite some time as female, her large frame, shaved face and self hatred made her so much more susceptible to abuse. it occurred to me how much her abuser is taking out his own self-hatred on her.
i’m hurting for her because i felt so utterly helpless and i have nothing better to give her than this hurt i have and this poorly written blog. sitting with someone through their pain isn’t worthless, but it damn sure doesn’t get her away from the jerk who makes her feel worthless.
she wouldn’t tell me her name, but if you’re reading this, will you please pray for her? luckily in dc, there is a growing awareness of hate-crimes against the trans community. hopefully, with raised awareness around this issue we’ll also increasingly become more equipped to combat domestic violence against trans women.
I am soooo fortunate to be part of this program. It’s going along swimmingly. Thanks to all of you for your encouragement and financial support! I’m just in level one right now and blown away at how perfectly the lessons suit this time in my life. I’m humbled by just how much there is to learn!
I’m excited for for Prenatal training which I’m able to afford because of the kindness of so many of you. However, to make it to level 2, which also begins in October, I still need a bit of help. I hope you’ll take a glance at my fundraising site! Just click the blog title above :)
It’s Missy’s birthday and she’s crowd sourcing her dream to become a yoga teacher! Click the title for the link :)
I was on one of the panels during this 2 day conference in Caracas. This article is in Spanish so don’t be afraid to google translate that sucker. Love the quote the used for me. That’s fine that they refer to me as a ‘he’ though. That’s fine. :/